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T E A M W O R M . org • View topic - A question of zombie ethics . . .
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 Post subject: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 6:50 am 
Ernie: You can hear me?
Corpse: Yes.
Ernie: Why do you eat people?
Corpse: Not people. Brains.
Ernie: Brains only?
Corpse: Yes.
Ernie: Why?
Corpse: The PAIN!
Ernie: What about the pain?
Corpse: The pain of being DEAD!
Ernie: It hurts... to be dead.
Corpse: I can feel myself rotting.
Ernie: Eating brains... How does that make you feel?
Corpse: It makes the pain go away!


To the best of my recollection, the comedy Return of the Living Dead may be the first zombie movie to actually answer the question of WHY zombies eat people.

I have a bit of empathy for the half female corpse. I have 2 infected rotting parts of my body. It hurts. At the same time, I don't think I'd eat someone's brains. But the pain isn't all over my body. That would hurt like a MOTHER. And I take pain meds like candy. If brains worked the same way, would I eat them?

Remember, to work, the brain MUST be alive.

If you were a zombie in pain, would you eat the brain of a living person? How about a loved one?

(What, you expect me to post serious ethical questions here?)


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:17 pm 
Why do you think prisons are so over populated?! Thats food for the zombies! The government knows that the zombie apocalypse is on its way. Why eat family and friends, when we have an adequate storage of prisoners?

...delicious prisoners...


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:30 pm 
Roundworm
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Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 6:24 am
Posts: 226
I could do it, but I would save the loved ones for last. Just out of curiosity, how does one become a zombie? If a zombie eats your brains do you die, or become a zombie too? Is this really just an elaborate case of misery loves company?



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 Post subject: Don't tempt my geekery.
PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 8:33 am 
Boy, oh, boy, Nap . . . what an opportunity you have given me to get my geek on.

In order to answer both questions, you first need to determine the type of zombie you are dealing with. Not including the non-fictional voodoo reanimated, there are basically 2 kinds of zombies (the real voodoo related type not included), the slow moving and the fast moving.

Slow moving zombies aren't too threatening, as they can only slowly saunter toward you, due largely to rigor mortis. If you can run, you're pretty safe. The only exception is if there are LOTS of zombies and you're surrounded on all sides. You may have seen these zombies in such films as Night of the Living Dead and Shaun of the Dead.

Fast moving zombies are a much larger threat. Not only can they run, but their post-mortem abilities generally include super strength. In other words they can run FAST, and often can break through commonly sought refuges, such as wooden doors and car windsheilds. You may have seen these zombies in such films as 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead. Even more frightening, there are some classes of super zombies that harbor intelligence, and seem capable of battle tactics similar to the Spartans. They tend to travel in large groups, and like Zulu warriors and velociraptors, surround you on all sides when you least expect it. In these cases, survival is damn near impossible. You may remember these zombies from films such as Planet Terror and Return of the Living Dead.

Enough geekery? On with the questions . . .

<i>Just out of curiosity, how does one become a zombie?</i>

According to George Romero, creator of the "Dead" movie series, and the person responsible for the modern movie zombie, the answer is simple: nobody knows. :roll: Really people, in case nobody told all of us geeks, there are no such things as zombies, so why bother spending time trying to figure it out?

Is that answer not good enough? OK, on with the answers. In the case of slow moving zombies, the most common theory seems to be radiation. Some sort of unseen ion can jolt the brain back into action, albeit only part way, making the dead wander aimlessly and desire to consume human flesh.

In the case of fast moving zombies, the most common cause seems to be a virus, transmitted via bite. It basically numbes the brain and turns the human into a mindless flesh seeking machine.

Fast moving intelligent zombies are usually the result of a military designed chemical experiment gone wrong. One might ASSUME that the U.S. government was trying to design a new and unkillable type of soldier, but, as usual, tampering with nature went terribly wrong, and now there is an unstoppable army of the undead.

Another theory, which I've never understood, is that zombies are God's wrath. In the book of Revelations, when Hell is full, the dead will walk the Earth. I don't understand how this applies to zombies. Generally speaking, there's a way to "re-kill" them, so this doesn't seem very plausible to me.

<i>If a zombie eats your brains do you die, or become a zombie too?</i>

Generally speaking, no.

With about 2 exceptions I can think of, you can kill a zombie by destroying its brain. Therefore, if your brain is eaten, you are not a zombie candidate. Also, with only a few exceptions (the above example from Return of the Living Dead included), zombies not only crave eating the brain, but they want to eat the entire body as well. If you are consumed by a pack of zombies, there is often too little left of yourself to be reanimated.

There are a few exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, no brain, no zombie.


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:49 pm 
Do zombies like sausage, bacon, ham, etc?


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:05 am 
In Hard Rock Zombies, one ate a cow . . .


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 7:59 pm 
''I heard it's a lab, where they take the brains outta zombies and put them in the heads of other zombies to create race of SUPER ZOMBIES!''
-Milhouse

''Honey, daddy has to 'double kill' these corpses so the don't come back as zombies.'
-Homer

''Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders!''
-Bart
"He was a zombie?"
-Homer


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:34 pm 
This just in: Zombie Cobain rumored to be on a shooting spree in the underworld. Witnesses report him blasting every other (un)dead creature in sight. His motives are currently unknown, as his already incoherent mumblings are further obscured by a shotgun: secured from his left hand, through his mouth, and blasting through a crater in the back of his skull.

Updates to follow...


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 6:33 pm 
Nerdy though this is, tell me it doesn't look like fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCah__RWF1s


  
 
 Post subject: Re: A question of zombie ethics . . .
PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 9:23 pm 
That was amazing enough to cause near spontaneous sharting. Do you know who put on the production? That'd be freakin stellar with a set of talented actors/actresses!


  
 
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